evaluation...

            In reflecting on my experiences in this course throughout the semester, I realized that I had many “entangled” thoughts regarding our course topics, class dynamics and my own personal growth. I also realized that I am a bit overwhelmed with the amount of information and various topics we covered in our 15 weeks together. However, after spending some time revaluating and reprocessing the course and my understanding of the topics and readings, I have this to say…

            Going into this class as a first-year student at Bryn Mawr, I think I was a little naive as to how intimidating this class would be. However, being thrown into the “wagon wheel” exercise on the first day (night) of class was a quick icebreaker, and also a foreshadowing of the events to come in this (very nontraditional) academic class. Also, Anne and Kaye’s welcoming, easygoing attitudes toward teaching and learning were a comforting surprise. As the weeks went on, I felt more and more comfortable with my classmates and with participating in class discussions. I feel as though this was partly due to the small group activities we had. By breaking down the large class into groups it not only made me feel closer to my classmates, but it made it easier to feel as though my voice was being heard. That being said, it was also a type of “rescue” for me for some of the readings and material that I really didn’t understand (Barad), and a few of the other more scientific based activities. In these cases, getting into a group where others also didn’t feel as though they “got” the material, yet others did, served as a reminder that I wasn’t the only one struggling with some of the concepts.  Also, it gave me the chance to learn from the students who did understand.           

            The variety and diversity of the readings were also an enjoyable aspect, and certainly one of the most important “interdisciplinary” aspects of the course. Eli Clare’s Exile and Pride got me thinking about diversity and differences- both physically and sexually- in ways I never had before. I really enjoyed Little Bee, despite the fact that it broke my heart over and over again, because it changed my views on the different ways people live. It made me realize how quickly our lives can change and how much we have the ability, or inability to change other’s lives.

            Okay, so I’ve covered the good, and since this is an honest evaluation, I have to address my deficiencies. I had a tremendously difficult time with the Serendip postings and web events for many different reasons. The weekly postings we had to do on Serendip literally induced anxiety from the minute I woke up on Sunday mornings (you would think I could have fixed this by doing the post at any time during the week), but I procrastinated out of my anxiety over internet based interactions, and as a result usually ended up posting at the eleventh hour, or in this case around 7:58 pm each week. I was worried to post things that other classmates would find stupid, or irrelevant. Many times, I felt as though I didn’t have amazing things to contribute in these weekly posts especially after reading my fellow classmates often-brilliant contributions. My trepidations in posting are evident in my number of posts– while I did meet the weekly requirement (one post, or a comment on someone else’s post) I did only one per week, as opposed to most of the other students who contributed several times a week. However, I did enjoy reading everyone else’s posts. The web papers were another source of fear for me. Until this class, the extent of my knowledge of online media was limited to uploading pictures of my cats onto Facebook. I was clueless when it came to imbedding videos, uploading images and navigating web tools. But, I learned quickly, and it was surprisingly easy, and even fun once I got the hang of it. I never realized how much more powerful ideas are when they are accompanied by images or music.

            So, what did I learn? I learned some basic ways of understanding statistical figures (which helped with my prior lack of math knowledge!) I learned that human barometers and wagon wheel activities are a way to incorporate your body and body language into understanding and processing information and learning. I learned the different ways that light and matter can be diffracted, and that we diffract images and information everyday through our own filter and lens. I learned that there are many more complex issues surrounding gender and sexuality than I previously thought. I learned that learning, like gender, is a distinctive and complicated phenomenon that everyone experiences and executes differently. I learned that gender and sexuality are complicated issues that are often surrounded by ungraspable theories, because gender and sexuality are, in some ways ungraspable. Most importantly, I discovered that there is a difference between learning something and understanding something. And difference, I understand, is okay too.